


Hope for Okay

by insanitylaughs



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Canon up to 4x11, Eliot POV, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Quentin POV, Reunions, Spoilers for 4x11, multi chapter fic, post monster, queliot, season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-06 16:44:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18392333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insanitylaughs/pseuds/insanitylaughs
Summary: Honestly, the Magicians has been stressing me out so here’s some fluffy/angsty reunions to help us all cope. This started as a one-shot, but now has a life of its own.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So here’s the thing, this is my very first attempt at fanfiction. I’m working on a BA in history so I’m pretty good at argumentative and evidence based papers, but writing narratively is a completely different muscle. I have so much respect for all of you brilliant writers out there. 
> 
> So here’s my somewhat cheesy take on the reunions I would like to see on the show. This was a lot of fun to write, any feedback/constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. :)

It’s all too much as he stares up at the sky above him. All he can hear is a pounding sound in his head as he tries to stand up, his legs wobbling. One minute he was lounging on the couch in the Physical Kids’ Cottage, arguing with Charlton and mapping out his next venture outside his Mind Palace. Now… he didn’t know where he was, but he immediately knew that he had regained control of his body and the monster was gone. But how?

 

Taking in his surroundings, he was vaguely aware that he must be in a forest somewhere. He was still finding his balance when he saw a woman facing away from him, bending over a large pit of fire. And even though he never knew her very well, he’s pretty sure he knows who it is.

 

“Julia?” Eliot asks, his voice wavering, still feeling the effects of whatever the monster put his body through these past… weeks? Months? Eliot felt his throat tighten. Years?

 

She turns around to look at him and it has to be something in her eyes because he immediately knows this isn’t Julia. He had always thought that she had kind eyes. Not that he’d ever tell her something like that, but looking into them now - they were not kind. They were too dark, pitch black in fact, and piercing to the core. It was unsettling to say the least.

 

“Oh good. You’re awake. You know, I wasn’t sure you would make it. My brother…” she laughs a soulless laugh. “My brother really took a toll on you.”

 

Eliot’s mind was racing a million miles a second, but it finally clicks. See, he had spent a while snooping around inside the monster’s head and he found out a few things about his past. One of those things happened to be that he had a much more dangerous twin sister who had been torn apart and put into four stones. So, no big deal right?

 

“So, listen,” he began, but not-Julia cut him off.

 

“Don’t worry. I locked my brother up in this jar,” she said as she held up an ancient looking container with silver markings. “He was getting on my nerves, but hey, at least he won’t be able to hurt you anymore.”

 

Eliot must have looked just as confused as he felt because she continued. “Look,” she said with a sigh and a shrug, “I don’t have time to explain my complicated relationship with my twin brother, but the reason I kept you alive is because I need you to give a message to your friends.”

 

\----

 

_ Fuck. What now? _ All of a sudden he was standing in some random apartment in the middle of New York City. Why would she send him here? How was he supposed to find Margo? Quentin? He was definitely spiraling, feeling weighed down and fighting the need to just collapse right here on the floor and sleep for the next 24 hours. But he had a job to do and he needed to find his friends. Just as he started towards the door, he heard footsteps and voices coming down the stairs.  _ Great.  _ He was covered in blood and sweat, it was going to be fun trying to explain his way out of this one.  _ But wait, he recognized those voices. _

 

He saw Penny first. “I just… I can’t just sit in this damn apartment. I can’t lose her again, Alice, I…” His voiced cracked and Alice actually looked sympathetic?

 

“I know, but we’re going to get her back, okay. And remember, she’s basically indestructible so…” Penny almost looked somewhat convinced, but that was before Alice’s voice drifted off as her eyes found Eliot standing in the middle of the living room.

 

Penny and Alice stopped in their tracks at the bottom of the staircase, unsure of what to do. Eliot thought to himself that they were definitely not his first choice for a reunion, but he couldn’t help but smile at the familiar faces.

 

But his smile must have set off something in Penny because he started charging in his direction with a determined and angry look on his face. “Look here you monster piece of shit,” Penny started, standing directly in front of Eliot. “Where did you take her? Huh?!”

 

“Penny!” Alice seethed. “You’re going to get yourself killed.”

 

Penny turned to face Alice, “I don’t care! I’ll do anything to get her back.”

 

“Please,” he turned back to Eliot, and he could see the desperation in his face. “Please.”

 

Eliot didn’t know why he stayed so silent. He probably should have stopped Penny’s breakdown, told them that he wasn’t the monster, but he couldn’t think of what to say. He wasn’t close to them like he was with Margo or Quentin. Not by a mile. What could he say that would convince them that he was himself, that he was Eliot?

 

They were both looking at him now with wide eyes, waiting for his reaction. But he just dropped his shoulders and asked, “Are there any drinks in this place?” It wasn’t the best response, or at all appropriate, but he was craving anything that would make him just a little less sober right now.

 

He walked over to the kitchen and opened up the fridge, nothing. He opened up the cabinets next and still, nothing.  _ Figures. _ He looked over at Penny and Alice who still hadn’t moved and were looking at him with incredulous expressions. “At least tell me you have a change of clothes because this…” he gestures to his bloodied graphic tee and cardigan sweater, “Is a fashion disaster and I will wrangle every single one of you who allowed me to be seen in this fucking crime against basic decency.”

 

Alice breathed a sigh of relief. “Eliot?” she asked as she stepped forward, voice wavering.

 

“Yeah, it’s me. I’m… back?” Eliot didn’t know quite what to say, the moment seemed very anticlimactic. He rocked back and forth on his heels as he watched their faces contort from confusion to relief and then back to confusion. But suddenly Alice was running towards him and wrapping him in a tight hug. Now it was Eliot’s turn to be confused.

 

Eliot hesitantly returned the hug just as Alice started to pull back. “Umm…” he stuttered.

 

Alice’s face reddened as she fixed her glasses. “Sorry, umm, I know we’re not close, like at all,” she smiled slightly, “But I did miss you, you know?” The last thing Eliot ever expected was for Alice Quinn, of all people, to feel any warmth towards him, but he was grateful nonetheless.

 

He smiled back just in time for Penny to start yelling again. “What the hell dude! You do realize that a monster has been inhabiting your body for like the past few months right? And now he’s gone and you didn’t think to start with that?!”

 

“You’re right. I’m a dick, but I have some information I think you’ll want to me to share,” Eliot said, staring down Penny. “Julia is alive, as far as I know. But the monster’s twin sister is in possession of her body. She trapped the monster in this jar thing? And she sent me back with a message.” he gulped, realizing how exasperated he sounds.

 

“A message?” Penny looked almost hopeful.

 

\----

 

Eliot, Penny, and Alice were sitting on the couches in the living room of Kady’s apartment, which Eliot learned was warded to keep them hidden from the Librarians. He definitely had a lot to catch up on. They were still discussing the message from the twisted sister when they heard the front door open. 

 

And that is when he heard the most beautiful sound, her voice unmistakable. “Look Q, pout all you want, but we needed groceries and you needed fresh air. So, you know, you’re welcome for giving a shit about you.”

 

“I know Margo,” Quentin scratched at his head, “But the monster… now he has my best friend  _ and _ my…,” that’s when he turned from the door and locked eyes with the man sitting on the couch, “Eliot,” he breathes, finishing his sentence.

 

Eliot doesn’t know what he expected, maybe fear? Anger? Anything that resembles a hint of emotion as his friends stare down what they think is still a monster. But he looks into Quentin’s eyes, the same eyes that he stared into for fifty years. The same eyes that have always portrayed a sense of loss, but mostly just unwavering hope and optimism. But now all he sees is a glassy look of apathy, and his heart sinks.  _ What did the monster put him through? _

 

Margo speaks first. “Listen here you motherfucking…” But Eliot doesn’t let her finish. He stands up from his spot on the couch and walks across the room to envelop her in a bone crunching hug, his face in her hair. 

 

“Bambi,” he sighed into the crook of her neck. “I fucking missed you.” Eliot felt her tense posture melt into his embrace as she realized it was him. 

 

“Fuck El,” she was sobbing now. “You can’t just leave me alone like that,” he parted with her slightly to wipe the tears from her cheeks. 

 

“Next time I’ll try my best not to get possessed by some bat-shit monster with serious family issues.” Margo huffed out a laugh and pulled him into a tighter hug. Over her shoulder he could see Quentin’s face and was frightened to see that his expression had not changed.

 

Eliot broke away from Margo to reach towards Quentin, but Quentin flinched away from him and avoided his gaze. “Q? It’s me, I… the monster, he’s gone now,” Eliot pleaded. “Q?” He could hear the desperation in his own voice, but he couldn’t find the will to care. He needed Quentin, he couldn’t get through this without him.

 

Finally, Quentin hesitantly met Eliot’s eyes. “Tell me something only Eliot would know,” he commanded. 

 

“Arielle was pregnant with Teddy when you found me crying beside the Mosaic,” Eliot started. “I told you I was afraid. Afraid of being pushed to the side as you started your own family. But you just huffed out a laugh and told me that I  _ was _ your family.” Eliot was pretty sure tears were running down his cheeks, but he continued, “I never thought that I would be a good father. My dad… was well, and there was Fray, which was a whole other deal, but still. It wasn’t until I held Teddy for the first time that I felt like I had the chance to do something right, because I loved him so fully and so immediately.”

 

He saw some unreadable emotion wash over Quentin’s face.  _ Was it denial? Grief? Love?  _ Eliot had decided that perhaps it was all three when Quentin rushed forward and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt to pull him down into a searing kiss. Somewhat taken aback, Eliot eventually returned the kiss with equal fervor and desperation, fingers trailing across Quentin’s cheekbones. His lips felt so warm and soft against his own, it felt like coming home. And it was over way too quickly. 

 

When they finally pulled apart he was a little embarrassed to find that they both had tears in their eyes. But they both just stood there laughing and smiling as they held onto each other.

 

Margo, who to her credit, was standing to the side patiently waiting for their moment to be over, finally reached her limit. “Okay? What the fuck guys?” Her eyebrows raised, waiting for an explanation.

 

Eliot and Quentin startled out of their little bubble like they just realized there were three other people in the room, all of whom looked a little surprised at the scene that just played out in front of them.

 

“Who’s Teddy?” Alice asked. Eliot and Quentin glanced at each other and back to their friends.

 

Eliot just sighed. “We will tell you everything,” he eyed Margo, “I promise. But…” 

 

“But we need to get you cleaned up and out of those god awful clothes,” Margo finished for him. She smiled and held out her hand towards him. As he followed her up the stairs, he stole one more over the shoulder glance at Quentin. His hair was shorter, but that wasn’t the only thing that was different about him. He looked so tired and beat down. He realized that here was a lot of healing both of them would have to endure before either of them were okay again. But for the first time he had hope that they would be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliot and Margo have a talk. Hashing out a plan. And bed-sharing, cause why not? Quentin POV included.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was supposed to be a one-shot, but I couldn't help myself. I'm thinking of turning this into a multi chapter fic. Thank you so much to everyone who read and commented on my first chapter! It means so much to me. :)

Margo closed the door behind them as he walked into her room. He went to sit on the bed while Margo just leaned against the closed door, arms crossed, waiting.

 

“Seriously Bambi, are we going to do this now?”

 

Margo looked affronted, “Yeah El, spill. It’s not a surprise that you and Q are in love,” she said with a knowing look. “It’s been painfully obvious for a while now, and I’m so fucking happy for you El, but…”

 

“But?” he asked.

 

Margo huffed out a sigh and sat on the bed beside him. She took his hands between her own and looked up at him. “What was all that other stuff about? You mentioned the Mosaic, but I thought,”

 

“But you thought you saved us from that life,” he finished for her and she nodded.

 

Eliot rubbed at his temples. “Well we remember all of it. So… it happened.” Margo took his hands again and urged him to continue.

 

“It was a year before Q ever made a move on me. We were happy, but the Mosaic took its toll on us and I pushed him away. Eventually Quentin found a wife, Arielle. And they had a son and  named him Teddy, after Q’s father. We were a family,” Eliot smiled wistfully.

 

“You would think that I would have hated Arielle,” he continued. “But just the opposite, I loved her. It was when Teddy was five years old that Arielle got sick. And when she passed, Quentin was a mess, and so was I. Q and I found our way back to each other eventually, raised our son together, and grew old together,” Eliot finished, noticing that his cheeks were wet. _Seriously_. He needed to pull it together today.

 

Now it was Margo’s turn to wipe the tears from Eliot’s cheeks. She pulled back with a million questions in her eyes, but there one huge plot hole she couldn’t seem to fill. “That’s beautiful El, but that quest was a while ago, even before the monster ever possessed you. Why were you and Q not together?” she asked.

 

Eliot let out a self deprecating laugh, “Because I couldn’t trust it Margo! Fifty years with someone and I still couldn’t trust that he would choose me if given a choice.”

 

“So you turned him down,” Margo finished for him.

 

“Yeah,” he answered, lowering his head.

 

Margo got up from the bed and started to pace back and forth in her room. She finally stopped and met Eliot’s eyes. “You’re a fucking idiot,” she said harshly.

 

“Really, Margo, I…”

 

“Are a fucking idiot,” she cut him off. “Even before the quest, you should have seen the way that boy looked at you. Why can’t you accept the love that’s right in front of you?”

 

Margo was reeling now, but she had a point. He knew that Quentin loved him, but he could never accept it. Even at the Mosaic, it was a feeling he continued to push down and avoid.

 

“Because!” Eliot was standing now. “Because he’s never chosen me! First there was Alice, and then Arielle… and I loved her, but still. I was right there, and he chose her!” He hadn’t realized how angry he’d become. “I swore that I would never pine after a straight…”

 

“Straight?” Margo looked incredulous. “You can’t be serious. Q might as well stand for Queer because that boy is bi as fuck.”

 

“Look,” Margo continued, grabbing Eliot by the shoulders. “It’s obvious that you have some shit to work out and I will always be there for you, but you need to have this conversation with Quentin.”

 

Eliot nodded slightly and started towards the door, but Margo stepped in front of him. “I didn’t mean right now,” Margo laughed. “You still need to shower and change. _And_ you need to sleep. I’ll find some clothes for you to wear, but I don’t want you coming out of this room until you’ve properly taken care of yourself, understand?”

 

“I understand,” Eliot whispered as he wrapped her in a hug, chin resting on her head. He broke away first and headed towards the bathroom door, but turned around to meet her gaze. “I missed you Margo.”

 

She smiled. “I missed you too bitch.”

 

He closed the door behind him and turned on the shower, finally succumbing to the pain coursing through his whole body.

 

\----

 

Avoiding the questioning gazes from Penny and Alice as he sat down beside them proved to make Quentin more anxious than he already was. He knew that Eliot was right upstairs, but being separated from him so soon was harder than he thought it would be. He was relieved when Margo finally descended the stairs and entered the living room, but was disappointed to find that Eliot hadn’t followed.

 

Margo must have realized this because she gave him a knowing look. “Ease up Coldwater. You two can fuck after he’s had some proper rest.”

 

Quentin flushed bright red and Margo laughed, sitting in the chair across from them. “So what’s the plan?”

 

“Oh you know, save Julia from the monster’s more powerful sister and save the world, all while hiding from the Librarians.” Penny answered.

 

Alice shifted next to him, pulling out a notebook. “So here’s what we have: your ice axes,” she said looking at Margo, “A spell that can trap a god, and a message from the sister herself.”

 

“What message?” Quentin asked.

 

Alice continued. “She gave Eliot a message before she sent him to us. She said that she would return Julia to us, but only if we stayed out of her way.”

 

“Well that’s easier than I thought,” Margo chimed in.

 

But Quentin was unconvinced. “What’s the catch?” He asked Alice.

 

Penny answered for her. “The catch is that she’s going after the old gods. She’s on a vengeance trip, basically a suicide mission. If she fails, we lose Julia.”

 

“What if she succeeds? Margo asked.”Never underestimate a bitch.”

 

“Well she’s going after the old gods, her creators and ours, so there’s a pretty good chance that the world just ends,” Alice states as Margo’s and Quentin’s eyes widen.

 

Margo flopped back in her seat. “Well shit.”

 

\----

 

They had been researching for hours and Quentin felt himself slowly start to lose consciousness, but he forced himself to stay awake. Julia needed him to stay awake, he couldn’t lose her. Just as his anxiety started to flare up again, he felt a hand rest on his knee. He looked up to see Margo kneeling down in front of him.

 

“Killing yourself won’t save Julia,” she stated. Quentin started to protest, but Margo cut him off. “Go upstairs and get some rest. The rest of us will continue until you’re ready to join us again.”

 

Slightly annoyed, but mostly grateful, he kissed Margo’s forehead and stood up from his spot on the couch and headed towards the stairs. He was ready to collapse on his bed when he finally entered his room, but stopped when he noticed that someone was already sleeping under the covers.

 

That’s when he saw his black curls splayed across the pillow and eyes closed peacefully in slumber. Quentin was afraid of disturbing him and started to back out of the room when he heard Eliot’s voice. “Where are you going?” Eliot grumbled, obviously still half asleep.

 

“I can… I don’t want to, so you can,” Quentin stuttered.

 

“Stay,” Eliot said, as he opened his eyes. “Please.”

 

Quentin just nodded and walked over to the side of the bed. Eliot scooted over to make room for him as he climbed under the blankets. Just as Quentin was making himself comfortable, Eliot wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him close, his head resting in the crook of Quentin’s neck.

 

Quentin breathed a contented sigh as he melted in Eliot’s embrace. He felt safer than he had in a long time and never wanted the moment to end, but sleep immediately consumed them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Margo told Eliot to stay in her room, but in my head I figured he would make his way to Quentin's.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically just angst. Sorry :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't know how many chapters this will be. But I have some idea of where I want this to go. I promise it will get happier... eventually.

Eliot woke up in Quentin’s arms the next morning, their legs intertwined underneath the sheets. Eliot quickly realized that Quentin was still asleep, snoring softly in his ear. It reminded him of the many blissful Fillory mornings that they had shared together in their other life. But the feeling of contentment faded away as his mind sharpened out of his sleep filled haze. He suddenly felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach. His chest tightened and his breath became labored.

 

Yesterday had happened all so fast that somehow he convinced himself that he was okay. But staring at the ceiling now, he realized how violated and guilty he actually felt. He wasn’t in control of his own body for months and he could feel the effects of what the Monster did to him start to take shape.

 

But he doesn’t just feel violated, he feels guilty. But it has nothing to do with the Monster. He thinks back to the conversation he had with Margo. He glances down at Quentin’s sleeping face. He spent fifty years with the man currently snuggled beside him and turned him down in the blink of an eye. _What had that done to Quentin? How could he just forgive him?_

 

Wrapped in Quentin’s arms was the last place Eliot ever thought he would feel uncomfortable, but being touched right now felt wrong and he desperately needed some space.

 

Quentin stirred beside him and slowly opened his eyes, “El? I can literally feel your heart racing. Are you okay?”

 

It’s all too much for him. He quickly moved out from under Quentin’s grasp to stand at the side of the bed. Quentin was awake now and looking at him with his forehead creased, confused.

 

“El?” Quentin asked again.

 

He can see Quentin becoming more insecure by the second, an awkward atmosphere settling in on the room. But Eliot can’t make himself meet Quentin’s eyes.

 

“I, uhh,” Eliot started, looking over Quentin’s shoulder. “I think I need to be alone right now.”

 

“El, you can talk to me,” Quentin pleaded.

 

Eliot finally looked at Quentin in the eyes and it was so much worse. “I thought I was okay Q, but I’m not,” he could feel tears pooling in his eyes as he continued. “So, I’m going to go…” He turned to leave, but was suddenly aware that he had no room of his own and nowhere to go; fortunately, Quentin seemed to understand.

 

“You can stay here. I’ll head downstairs,” Quentin said. Eliot hoped that he wouldn’t take this personally, but knowing Quentin, he probably would. “You’re suffering.” Quentin said matter of factly as he met Eliot’s gaze. “I’ll give you all the space you need, but please don’t isolate yourself El.”

 

There were a million things Eliot wanted to say, but instead he let Quentin turn around and leave the room, closing the door quietly behind him. Eliot was alone.

 

\----

 

Quentin found Margo sitting on the barstool in the kitchen, elbows resting on the counter and coffee mug cupped in her hands. “Where are the others,” he asked as he opened the cabinet looking for cereal.

 

She eyed him carefully. “That is not the face of someone who just banged his previously possessed, long lost boyfriend.”

 

Quentin just sighed, tired, “He’s not my boyfriend, Margo.” But she just raised her eyebrows in dubiety. He leaned against the counter. “He’s not okay Margo. The way he was acting yesterday, I thought? But he basically just kicked me out of the room just now.”

 

Margo started to get up, but Quentin grabbed her hands, pleading with her to stay. “It was quite obvious that he needed some space,” he told her. “I don’t think you would be helping anybody by barging in on him right now.”

 

She nodded and sat back down, eyebrows knitted in frustration. “Even if I did go up there, I wouldn’t know how to help him,” she spoke sadly.

 

Quentin came around to Margo’s side of the counter and wrapped her in a hug. “This is weird,” she breathed into his shoulder, but she hugged him tighter anyways.

 

“We’ll get him through this,” he whispered in her hair. “And we’ll save Julia, and we’ll stop whatever else the world decides to throw at us.”

 

Margo leaned back to give him a wary look. “You’re pretty confident for someone who was falling apart just yesterday.”

 

“Yesterday I had no hope,” he started. “But we have Eliot back. Therefore, today is a little less fucked than yesterday. So… progress?” Margo laughed at that and hit him in the arm.

 

“I love you,” she said with complete sincerity.

 

Quentin looked dumbfounded so she quickly followed with how she would never say that to him again and if he told anyone she would deny it and do something terrible to him, but he wasn’t really listening. He just replied with, “Love you too.”

 

\----

 

Eliot looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. He looked like shit. He was too thin, his hair too long, and he had dark circles around his eyes. He decided to start with something he could fix. He grabbed a pair of scissors he found in the drawer and snipped away, long black locks falling into the sink. When he was done he judged his work. He hadn’t cut it too short, however, it definitely ranks as one of the worse haircuts he’s had, but probably the one he most needed.

 

He found the outfit Margo picked out for him resting on the dresser against the wall. He looked at it and breathed a sigh of relief. It was one of Eliot’s actual outfits. _How?_ But then he saw a note beside the clothes. It read: “Thank Penny. I had him travel to Brakebills to get this for you. - M.” Eliot smiled for the first time that day and took a closer look at the clothes. Penny had brought him a buttoned down dress shirt with black pants and a matching vest. He decided to forfeit the vest, feeling like if he put it on, he was somehow pretending to be his old self. That person whose main hobby was making cocktails in the Physical Kids’ Cottage was long gone. Since then he had gained and lost a crown, ruled over a kingdom, married, raised a child, fell in love, and then came to be possessed by a soulless monster. He wasn’t really sure who he was now.

 

He thought that he was ready to leave the room and join the others when he heard laughing downstairs. Something recoiled inside of him and he couldn’t bring himself to descend the stairs. He looked down the hallway and noticed a window leading to a balcony outside. _Surely a stroll outside wouldn’t do any harm?_

 

\----

 

Margo finally told Quentin that the others went out to find Kady. Apparently she knew something that would help with the god catching spell. Meanwhile, Margo and Quentin had decided to talk about lighter subjects. She was currently telling Quentin about her psychedelic trip through the desert. He thought it was weird that her mind would conjure up a lizard Eliot to sing Whitesnake, but then again, they regularly use talking bunnies to communicate between worlds so who was he to judge.

 

As she told her story they started to laugh one of those laughs that never seem to end. The kind where nothing is particularly funny, but the two people are too delirious and exhausted to even notice. When their laughs finally came to an end, Margo straightened and wiped the tears from her eyes. “I’m going to check on Eliot,” she said.

 

Quentin just nodded. It had been a few hours, maybe he would talk to Margo. He hadn’t noticed that he had been pacing back and forth in the kitchen when he heard Margo yell, “Quentin!”

 

His heart dropped. He ran upstairs as fast as he could to find Margo. When he finally reached her he was out of breath. “Wh..what happened? Is Eliot alright?”

 

Margo turned to him, “Eliot’s gone,” she said, eyes frightened.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People talk about their feelings.

“Are you sure this is the right place?” Penny asked. He thought that they would be meeting Kady at some underground waystation of some sort, but instead they were standing at the entrance to a random Irish pub.

 

“This is the address she sent,” Alice replied and pointed to the Hedge stars painted in the windows. “This must be the place,” she shrugged as they stepped inside. 

 

Penny wasn’t particularly looking forward to meeting with Kady. He hated being the constant reminder of the love that she lost. And although he has had better luck with this timeline’s Julia, he still knew how she felt. He tried to opt out of this mission, but according to Margo, Alice needed a chaperone. Apparently the group still didn’t completely trust her. He didn’t blame them, but he also didn’t necessarily hate her either. She sorta seemed like a misunderstood and conflicted person, and at some level he empathized. 

 

They walked up to the bartender to ask if he knew anything about the whereabouts of Kady. “Who wants to know,” he asked harshly.

 

Penny noticed the hedge stars on his wrist and sighed, “His friends, hedge asshole. Kady said she would meet us here.”

 

“Well she’s not here. You’re welcome to wait if you buy something.”

 

“Seriously, dude.” He was so done.

 

“We’ll take two gin and tonics,” Alice interrupted. He nodded.

 

They chose the booth close to the doors in case Kady showed up. Alice pushed one glass towards Penny. “I don’t drink,” Penny muttered.

 

Alice just raised her eyebrows. “Fine. More for me then.” Penny watched her warily as she almost downed the glass on the first go. He had noticed a change in her behavior since Eliot had come back. He gathered that Quentin and Alice shared a complicated, slightly toxic past. But the last thing he wanted was to get involved in any of that drama.

 

But before he realized what he was doing he asked, “Are you okay?” 

 

Alice just looked at him with suspicion. “I’m fine,” she said flatly, eying the door. She didn’t seem to want to continue until she started again. “Yesterday was weird right?”

 

He stared at her blankly, taking him off-guard. “Yeah I mean a guy coming back from being possessed does count as weird I guess.”

 

“No, I mean… All that stuff Eliot said to Quentin. What was that?”

 

“I don’t know, I don’t think it’s any of our business. It seemed pretty personal. And I have a strict rule of trying not to care about anything Quentin related.” Penny paused looking at Alice’s disconcerted face. “But it seems to bother you, why?”

 

“It doesn’t bother me,” she said a little too loudly. “I mean… I loved Quentin. And I thought that I could go back to who I was when I was with him. But he’s obviously moved on and I guess I’m having a hard time doing the same thing.”

 

“I’m sorry,” she continued. “You’re obviously going through something much worse. Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“Pain is relative,” Penny replied, surprising himself with his response. “But there’s nothing to talk about because I’m getting Julia back,” he paused. “I won’t lose her this time.”

 

Alice reached across the table to grab Penny’s hand. “You won’t. We won’t.” He just nodded as she sat back.

 

“Okay but,” Alice started, trying to light up the mood. “Did Eliot say that he and Q raised a child together?!”

 

Penny had to laugh at that. “I have no fucking idea!” They were both laughing hard now. And they were still laughing when a figure with long dark curly hair appeared next to their table.

 

Kady just looked at Penny and Alice with annoyance. “Really? Maybe when we’re on an important quest, we could skip the drinks,” she said. 

 

\----

 

“What do you mean Eliot’s gone?” Quentin asked Margo, fear and guilt pulsating through Quentin’s veins. 

 

“What I mean is that he’s not fucking here Coldwater!”

 

What were they thinking? They should have checked on Eliot sooner. Now, he was God knows where… “I should have stayed. I shouldn’t have let him push me out this morning,” he said. 

 

If he was being completely honest, he didn’t just leave the bedroom that morning because Eliot needed space. He left because Eliot looked at him with such sadness and regret in his eyes. He really couldn’t spend one more minute being looked at like that.

 

Margo had her face in her hands as they stood in the hallway. “What are we going to do?

 

\----

 

“This could actually work,” Alice said as they walked out of the pub. 

 

Kady just raised her eyebrows, “It should, but we should always have a healthy dose of pessimism, especially considering how much the world likes to fuck us over.”

 

Penny put his hands on the shoulders of the two women. “Ready?” he asked, preparing to travel back to the apartment.

 

“Wait!” Alice yelled, pointing to a tall man across the street. “Is that Eliot?”

 

\----

 

Quentin and Margo were still pacing around in the living room, arguing over what to do about Eliot, when the gang suddenly appeared out of thin air… Eliot among them. “Lose somebody?” Penny asked.

 

Margo quickly ran into Eliot’s arms, relieved. “Where did you go asshole?” 

 

“I just needed some air, decided to take a walk,” he said nonchalantly, making eye contact with Quentin. 

But Quentin just stood there fuming, not realizing how angry he had become. Margo must have realized the tension between the two men because she quickly ushered everyone else upstairs to talk about what Kady and the others had found.

 

“What the fuck Eliot?”

 

“It was just a walk Quentin! What do you want from me?” Eliot stormed across the living room to stand behind the counter in the kitchen. 

 

“What do I want?” Quentin asked exasperatedly. “Maybe for you not to disappear twenty-four hours after being possessed by a dangerous monster, who by the way, is still out there!”

 

Eliot’s eyes softened, but he still stood firm. “I just needed air, Q. I needed…”

 

“You needed space from me,” Quentin finished for him.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Right, okay.” Quentin turned to leave, but Eliot caught his arm and turned him around. They were dangerously close now, Quentin’s back against the counter.

 

Eliot looked down at him. “I’m being consumed with so much pain, I don’t know what to do with it all.” 

 

“I understand that. And I want to help you,” Quentin started, his hand reaching up to brush against Eliot’s cheek. “But the way you looked at me this morning, I don’t understand.”

 

Eliot gave an empty laugh. “I don’t understand how can you just forgive me? How can you still want me? I… I betrayed you. Fifty years together and I just pushed you to the side. How are you not more angry?”

 

Quentin was surprised at this. He searched Eliot’s eyes before he responded. “Really, El? Fifty years and you think I don’t know you by now? You’re right, you did betray me. But I never questioned the love that existed… exists between us.”

 

Eliot placed his hand on the back of Quentin’s neck.“I don’t deserve you,” Eliot whispered.

 

“Probably not,” Quentin breathed as Eliot tilted his head down. “But I don’t deserve you either.”

 

“I’m still angry,” he whispered against the brush of Eliot’s lips.

 

“I know,” Eliot responded, and then he was kissing him. Quentin reached up to tangle his hands into Eliot’s hair, noticing for the first time that it was shorter than it was this morning. He poured all of his desperation and frustration into the kiss, drowning in Eliot’s warmth. Eliot’s hands found Quentin’s waist as they pressed their bodies closer together. Eliot was kissing him hungrily now, the counter digging into his back, but he didn’t care. He just wanted more, needed more. As they pulled apart to breathe, Eliot kissed down Quentin’s neck, nipping at his collarbone. He was about to suggest they find a less public place when he heard a voice clear from the other side of the room.

 

They pulled apart to turn around to face Margo, who had a mischievous glint in her eyes. “You know that’s where we eat,” she said, glancing at the counter. 

 

Quentin looked up at Eliot, noticing how swollen his lips were and how dark his eyes had gotten. He wondered if he looked just as ravished and felt his face redden at the thought.

 

Margo chuckled. “C’mon, we have a lead,” Eliot took Quentin’s hand, entwining his fingers with his as they walked over to her. Quentin knew that they had a lot of unresolved feelings to sort through, but feeling Eliot’s gently squeeze his hand reminded him that maybe they would be okay. He hoped they would be.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! This is the last chapter. Decided to leave it a bit unresolved, but hopefully it comes across as hopeful.


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